Slut Shaming and Bodycounts

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I can’t help but share my views on this topic in a detailed post without being confined to a 140 character limit on Twitter. Basically, I usually see things on Twitter about slating and shaming women who have a “high bodycount” whilst it is deemed as different and almost okay for men. What I don’t understand is why it is okay for a man to be promiscuous but it is not okay for a woman?

Back in secondary school days, boys were always getting ratings for the high number of girls they have slept with however if it was a girl now people would be quick to label her a “slag” or “junge” or “sket” and many other negative comments. However, I have never really expressed and agreed with this view. In my eyes, a guy with a bodycount of 50 is the same with a girl with the bodycount of 50 no exceptions. It is the same number of sexual partners and it is not going to change because one is a male and the other is a female. No offence to any males, but if you know you have been doing the baby boy lifestyle and have been casually laying with many women you are not really in a position to now pass judgement on a girl who is doing the EXACT same thing as you (Matthew 7:3-5). Like I said before, it is the same action you are both doing and it is not different because of gender.

Lately, I have been seeing men share their preferences in regards to a desirable body count for a woman to have before 'wifing' them (disclaimer: Everyone is entitled to have their own preferences). I remember having an interesting conversation on Twitter with a male friend of mine and I remember him saying “there is a story behind every body count”. Now when he said this, it hit me and I couldn’t help but agree 10000% with that statement. You never can tell how bad life hit someone until they tell you of course. Life might have hit someone bad which may have caused them to make mistakes over and over again. So my question is if you as a man consider yourself to have a high body count and the woman you really like swerves you because of your past that you have made an effort to dissociate from, how would you feel?

Also, the idea of slut-shaming a woman and giving her a name her mother and father didn’t give her doesn’t sit well with me especially when she is turning over a new leaf to better herself. As soon as a woman with a past tries to better herself people are quick to bring up the old skeletons in her closet these times some of those same people will have dozens of skeletons chilling in their closet just waiting to pop out and show face. That is why me personally I have a very questionable past and I certainly wouldn’t like it if someone tried their hardest to tarnish my name so therefore who am I judge? The past is the past for a reason. There is no need to bring up a woman’s past when she has done all she can to change her old ways. I strongly believe that once you make an active effort to change the person you were before is gone (2 Corinthians 5:17). I remember someone tried to explain the concept to me that a slag will always be a slag by using the “a leopard never changes its spot” saying. I can’t believe I actually let this wash with me like come on are we leopards? People can change and call me naive all you want but if someone wants to change then they will; it may take time but they can get there if they really want to. If a guy was once a known cheater but he wants to tame his baby boy habits and be faithful then he can HOWEVER only because he wants to.

Lastly, I want to address the notion that women are meant to stay pure and perfect for their future husbands. Don’t get me wrong, I fully back this (#TeamAbstainingTillMarriage) but sometimes the feeling I get from this statement is that there is astronomical pressure for women to stay pure but it is okay for a man to fondle and tap yet still want to marry a virgin. Sometimes I have seen men be quick to say that women are queens and that queens shouldn’t be seen or heard but my response to this is you as a man/king should be operating with a level of self-control and wisdom. I am saying this because when I get married, I expect my future husband to lead me and our kids to righteousness with me submitting to him and him loving me like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-28). I will not judge a man on his past baby boy lifestyle so long as the man I see in the present is different but you need to meet women halfway. So before you, as men are quick to try and dictate how a woman should be living and respecting their body please check you are doing the same.

I did not intend to fire any shots but I am just addressing some topics that have been creeping up on my Twitter a lot.

 

Written by,

Chichi Okagbue

 

Twitter: @IBeChichi
YouTube: Chi O
Blog: thoughtsofchi.wordpress.com
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