There's Always Time To Figure It Out

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"Sometimes we may let people chose a path for us, but I believe as individuals, we have to take responsibility and chose a path that suits us best."

 

My story begins at 16 years old. I am about to go to college to study A-levels. I pick Media, Psychology, Philosophy and Business Studies. 2 of them chosen due to popularity (Psychology and Business). The other two were chosen due to a genuine interest in Philosophy and Media studies. I am excited and ready to go!

A few months pass and I am already falling asleep in Business studies class, I am not paying much attention in Psychology class and I am talking to someone in Philosophy class about how this college life is not for me. The girl next to me says “So if you leave, what are you gonna do? You want to be a ‘bum’ and do nothing at home?”. I didn’t want that so I carry on. I am being creative in Media studies and doing what I enjoy. Things don’t seem so bad after all. Until it’s time for exams. Damn! I didn’t revise. Oh well, as long as I pass 2 of my chosen subjects then it will be okay. Results day comes, I open the letter and I read: Media studies - D grade and the rest, Ungraded. To be honest with you, the first thing I did was laugh. I didn’t like it here anyway. Then reality hit me. I had failed and let my mum down.

That’s what went on in my head when I found out that my grades were not enough for me to carry on to the 2nd and final year of college. After several meetings and tried opportunities later (which were not really working out), I stopped and really looked at what was going on. I realised why I wasn’t happy or satisfied. I picked a path that wasn’t for me. I did what I thought was right but also didn’t feel right all along. I did not just want to go to college/university for the sake of looking good or intelligent or because everyone else around me did it. For me, It was time to figure out what I really wanted, and not just in my education but in life. This was the beginning of my journey of self-discovery. 

Within that time, I read and wrote a lot and also contacted many people online who I felt could help me on my journey. Most people around me seemed unavailable, busy in education or work. I felt so alone, but I was happy I was finding myself. I discovered so much about life, relationships, the world that we’d never be taught in school! I rediscovered my interests and confidence. Soon after I got a call from one of the advisors at connexions who I visited a few times before. He was recommending me a course he thought I’d be interested in. It was an Extended Diploma in Creative Media Production (Print Based Media). He took note of my interests in writing, creativity and the media industry. He said I didn’t have long to apply so he left me with the website to look at so I could apply whenever I was ready. Of course, I was thinking not college again! and I felt the fear of failure. I also felt ashamed of starting college again with people younger than me and thought people would judge me for going back. However, despite all of that, I felt it was a chance to prove to myself that I can pass at something again and that I am capable of accomplishing something after failing.

I left that college with a triple grade (Distinction, Merit, Merit), and a self-published book I wrote which highlighted my personal journey and not to mention, tonnes of experiences that made me the person I am today. 

What I can say now is that the problem wasn’t the struggle to pass exams. I know I could have done it if I put the effort in my studies and actually revised. I was just not interested. You know when people say ‘this is not for me’? In most cases, people decide to study courses sometimes for the sake of it, to make their parents happy or because it’s just what people do. But when do you ever look at yourself and think, ‘do I really want to do this?’ I guess I can’t speak for all 16/17-year-olds making decisions for their future. I just knew the path I took the first time did not feel right for me. Me choosing to do a course I enjoyed was just the beginning of my journey. I gained purpose, strength and confidence to do what felt right and still live that way today.

If it wasn’t for me failing. I wouldn’t have had the opportunities I’ve had so far. I managed to work in big companies, worked closely with CEO’s, learnt the world of work which brought me back to wanting to work with young people and that’s where my passion lies. Within every young person, there is potential, and with that potential creates a better future...

If you’ve ever feel stuck or if you are not happy with what you’re doing. There’s always time to figure it out, but you have to take action to do that. Also, every experience has a lesson and there’s no such thing as failure.

 

Written by,

Leigh-Ann Ncube

 

Instagram: @becomeyourbliss

Twitter: @becomeyourbliss

Facebook page: becomeyourbliss

 

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